A KatNep Pesterlog
by AppleJuiceGod
Summary: He knew that when Serket told him that a certain olive blood troll had red feelings for him, that he had to confirm it. "How?" you ask? By going to the little kitty herself. Nepeta Leijon. (I might make this into an actual story. I don't know yet.)


**What is up my homies? I know that it's been a while. I'm still working on 'When the Crab meets the Cat', but school became really hectic and I had no time to work on it. I figured that since I haven't updated in a while that I'd upload this beauty (and by beauty I mean piece of trash that I literally wrote at 4 am this morning, sleep deprived). Also, this is my first time writing a pesterlog so just stick with me here xDD**

 **If there are any mistakes, forgive me.**

 **Be prepared for some swearing because Karkat**

 **This a KATNEP**

 **ENJOY**

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carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

CG: NEPETA, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU

CG: NEPETA

CG: NEPETA FOR GOGS SAKE, FUCKING ANSWER ME

CG: I KNOW YOU'RE THERE. GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND FUCKING ANSWER

CG: I SWEAR TO FUCK IF YOU DON'T

AC: :33 *ac perks up and looks at Karkitty curiously* yes? *she says questioningly*

CG: AH. THERE YOU ARE. ABOUT FUCKING TIME.

CG: AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE, QUIT CALLING ME KARKITTY

CG: ANYWAYS, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU

AC: :33 oh? *ac gets on her tummy and her tail twitches with interest* only if you roleplay with me

CG: *KARKAT SIGHS BECAUSE HE'S GOING ALONG WITH THE CAT GIRL'S SHITASTIC ROLEPLAYING*

CG: *AND HE'S ONLY DOING THIS SHIT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO WASTE ANY FUCKING TIME ARGUING*

CG: I HEARD SOMETHING FROM VRISKA TODAY.

AC: :33 from vrwiskers? *ac swishes her tail back and forth in slight irritation* what is it? is she spreading rumors again?

CG: KIND OF. THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU.

AC: :33 *it purrplexes ac as to why karkitty is coming to her about this* why are you asking me?

AC: :33 not that i dont want to help you or anything beclaws i do :00 its just that you nefur s33m to come to me about these types of things *ac looks at karkitty curiously*

CG: WELL I MEAN

CG: YEAH. THAT IS TRUE I GUESS

CG: BUT I CAN'T REALLY ASK ANY OF THESE OTHER NOOK SNIFFERS

CG: ONE: BECAUSE THEY'RE FUCKING IMBECILES

CG: AND TWO: WHAT SPIDER BITCH TOLD ME WAS ABOUT YOU SO I THOUGHT IT'D BE A WISER FUCKING CHOICE TO TALK TO YOU INSTEAD OF ANYONE ELSE

AC: :33 i guess that makes sense *ac nods her head in understanding*

AC: :33 wait

AC: :33 its about me? :00

AC: :33 what did vrwiskers tell you about me?

CG: OK WELL. DON'T GET UPSET WHEN I TELL YOU

CG: VRISKA TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE A FLUSH CRUSH

AC: :33 …

CG: NEPETA?

CG: SHIT NEPETA ? ARE YOU THERE?

AC: :33 im here

AC: :33 sorry about that

AC: :33 did she purrchance say who?

CG: SHE DIDN'T TELL ME

CG: SO IT'S TRUE?

AC: :33 yes, it is :/

AC: :33 next time i s33 vriskers i swear that im going to tacklepounce her for telling others about my secrets!:((

CG: VRISKA IS A CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT SO IT DOESN'T REALLY SURPRISE ME THAT SHE'D GO AROUND AND TALK ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS

CG: BUT, UH, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT

AC: :33 its ok! but karkitty, im still confused as to why youre coming to me

AC: :33 i didnt think you would really care about who im flushed fur

AC: :33 you dont really s33m like you even care about me

CG: FUCK NEPETA. I'M SO FUCKING SORRY THAT I COME ACROSS THAT WAY. I'M JUST A FUCKNG IDIOT WHO'S AN ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE

CG: I WOULD BE THE ASSHOLE WHO WOULD BE A FUCK HEAD TO A GUY WHO WAS TRYING TO SAVE HIM

CG: THAT'S HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE I AM

CG: I'M A COMPLETE FUCK TO EVERYONE WHO'S EVER GIVEN A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT ME.

CG: GOG I DON'T EVEN MEAN BE LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME, BUT THAT'S KARKAT FOR YOU

CG: A GIANT BULGE LICKER WHO ISN'T GOOD AT ANYTHING EXCEPT BEING A DOUCHE TO EVERYONE. I CAN'T EVEN BE A DECENT FUCKING LEADER BECAUSE I ALWAYS SEEM TO FUCK SHIT UP

AC: :33 :00

AC: :33 karkitty stop

CG: WHY? I FUCKING DESERVE IT

AC: :(( karkat STOP

AC: :(( just fucking stop, i cant take you beating yourself up anymore

CG: HOLY FUCKING SHIT NEPETA

CG: I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU GET SO SERIOUS OR STOP USING ALL THE FUCKING CAT PUNS.

AC: :33 i didnt know how else to get you to listen to me

AC: :33 but karkitty you n33d to know that youre absolutely purrfect! sure you can be a bit grumpy at times, but i think that everyone knows that d33p down you care

AC: :33 its purretty obvious that you do, you just come across the wrong way

AC: :33 and i fur one think that youre an amazing leader and i wouldnt want anyone else to lead us

CG: WHAT? YOU REALLY THINK THAT? YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT YOU THINK THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU

AC: :33 i do! i really mean it! i would nefur tell you something that i didnt mean

AC: :33 and i know that i said that it doesnt s33m like you care about me, but i know you do

AC: :33 i guess i was purrhaps being a bit melodramatic, but its hard fur me beclaws i

AC: :33 nevfur mind

CG: WHY IS IT HARD FOR YOU?

AC: :33 ….

CG: NEPETA JUST FUCKING TELL ME. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG?

CG: I CARE ABOUT YOU

CG: I KNOW THAT IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT AND I KNOW THAT I'VE CALLED YOU MEAN NAMES LIKE 'AUTISTIC', BUT I REALLY FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU

CG: AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME THAT YOU THINK THAT I'M A GREAT LEADER CAUSE GOG, IT NEVER FEELS LIKE I AM. IT FEELS LIKE I'M ALWAYS FUCKING UP LIKE I AM NOW

AC: :33 its ok karkitty, you don't n33d to worry! its nothing!

CG: YOU JUST SAID YOURSELF THAT YOU KNOW THAT I CARE, SO LET ME FUCKING CARE

AC: :33 ok

AC: :33 its hard fur me when youre mean to me beclaws

AC: x00 im flushed fur you!

AC: :(( i know that you dont f33l that way fur me and thats ok

CG: NEPETA… HOW LONG HAVE YOU FELT THIS WAY?

AC: :33 fur almost two sw33ps

CG: I'M SORRY THAT I NEVER KNEW, I'M SORRY THAT I WAS TOO FUCKING BLIND TO SEE HOW YOU FELT, AND I'M SORRY THE MOST FOR NEVER HAVING THE CONFIDENCE TO TELL YOU THAT I'M FUCKING FLUSHED FOR YOU TOO

AC: :33 you f33l the same?

CG: YEAH NEP, I DO.

CG: I KNOW I DON'T FUCKING DESERVE YOU AFTER ALL THE SHIT THAT I'VE SAID TO YOU, BUT WOULD YOU BECOME MY MATESPRIT?

AC: :33 yes! i would love to! *ac says happily*

AC: :33 *ac gives a questioning look*but karkitty, i nevfur told vrwiskers how i felt towards you

CG: SHE SAID THAT IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT YOU WERE RED FOR ME

CG: WHICH IS WHY I ASKED YOU ABOUT IT BECAUSE NO ONE CAN TRUST THAT HAUGHTY FUCK.

AC: :33 that is furry true *ac nods in agreement* but i guess that this one time i cant complain about her mischievousness

CG: FAIR ENOUGH, BUT SHE STILL PISSES ME OFF

CG: ANYWAYS, DO YOU WANT TO HANG OUT OR SOMETHING? MAYBE WATCH A MOVIE.

CG: I NEED SOMETHING TO DISTRACT ME FROM ALL THESE FUCKING ASSHOLES WHO KEEP FUCKING BLOWING UP MY HUSKTOP.

AC: :33 h33 h33 sure! *ac giggles at her matesprit*

AC: :33 should i bring ofur something to watch? i have romance comedies, horror movies, action movies

AC: :33 *ac says*

CG: YOU WATCH ROMCOMS?

AC: :33 yeah! h33 h33! theyre the best! *ac gestures to her collection for emphasis*

CG: BRING ALL OF THEM.

CG: WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING MARATHON.

AC: :33 ok! :)) that sounds purrrrfect!

AC: :33 ill be ofur in about ten minutes, sound good? *ac asks*

CG: YEAH AND I'LL GO MAKE SOME FOOD FOR US

AC: :33 alright! :DD ill s33 you later karkitty! *ac waves goodbye to her karkitty and gets ready to prepare for their night of romcoms*

CG: OK. SEE YOU SOON

CG: WAIT NEP.

AC: :33 *ac pauses what she was doing and gives her matesprit a inquisitive glance* what is it?

CG: RED FOR YOU

AC: :33 red fur you too!

AC: :33 h33 h33!

arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

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 **BRUUHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm dying in all my piles of trash (my fandoms).**

 **ANYWAYS! I hoped that you enjoyed that little pesterlog. As I said before, this is my first time writing a Homestuck chat so please don't kill me if your eyes burned out of your skull from how shitty it is.**

 **Thanks for reading guys. You're my loves.**

 **oh. p..s. ..ss.s.**

 **This site won't let me do the greater than sign and it's very frustrating. So if you're questioning why I didn't put it in there, I did, it's just the site won't show them. HEHEH. oK**

 **THAT'S IT. BYE**


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